Just Not There
by Med Bajer
Summary: Songfic. Legolas makes his final decision... Argh. I cannot write summaries.


**Just Not There  
  
Author: Med Bajer  
  
Email: med_bajer@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: Songfic. Legolas makes his last decision. I cannot write summaries. Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Happy?  
  
This is a fic I wrote in half an hour. Pretty mindless, in my opinion, so please forgive me if you think it's lousy. I'm pretty proud of the song, though. I composed it myself. Feedback is always welcome. **

**Inspired strongly by the Mellon Chronicles by Cassia.  
  
  
  
**"The trees in your land are strong, I'll have to grudgingly admit, master Elf." The gruff baritone of a dwarf broke the still silence of the forest.  
  
Legolas sighed and smiled sadly down at his short friend, "of course they are, Gimli. The shadow has long since faded from their branches and now they can sing their melodies to the sky as they once did."  
  
Gimli shook his head, "only the Elves can think of such absurd things. Trees singing indeed!" The Dwarf laughed. Legolas shook his head and smiled to himself; Gimli had laughed silently, and even a little hesitantly. It was as though he had been afraid of disturbing the "singing trees".  
  
The two fell silent again, and the serenity of the woods persisted, save for the heavy, stolid tread of the Dwarf, and the light tread of the Elf.  
  
An onlooker would have marvelled at this strange friendship; a child of Aule and one of the Eldar. And yet differences, however diverse, were of no obstacle to their friendship; it was obvious.  
  
They walked on, and they reached a glade. The Dwarf gazed in awe at the mysterious beauty of the scene; the soft rays of the moon cut a passage across the sky, casting light gently upon each feature of the glade, illuminating the entire place in a silver light from Heaven.  
  
"Your woods are full of wonder, master Elf," he said, not tearing his gaze from the picture that stood before him.  
  
To that there was no answer, but Gimli thought little of it, for his friend often kept silent during conversations. But then he was rewarded with a soft sigh from Legolas.  
  
"I remember this place," the Elf whispered, his voice getting more and choked with each word, "I remember it so very well. Do you know, Gimli, it hasn't changed at all in so many years." His blue eyes flitted across the glade, moonlight reflecting upon them. Then he cast his gaze down and whispered, "I miss him, Gimli. I miss him so much. I haven't been here since he. since he died."  
  
The Dwarf looked up at Legolas and he gasped; a tear was cutting a path across the Elf's fair cheek, down his face, onto his chin, and then it fell, slowly, softly, delicately as though it were a lone snowflake heralding the Winter. It shattered on the ground like glass would upon merciless stone.  
  
And Legolas's heart seemed to shatter along with it. He ran into the center of the glade, and suddenly it seemed to Gimli that the Moon cast all her light specially onto him, illuminating his grief. A choked sob escaped from Legolas's throat as he cupped his hands to his mouth, screaming a word that seemed so precious to him to the sky. "Strider!"  
  
Then he dropped to his knees, burying his face in his hands as he shed the tears he had been holding back for a long time.  
  
_Do you hear my voice? _

_Do you know how much I miss you?_

_Do you know _

_All this pain I'm going through?  
  
So many memories_

_Haunt this place right now. _

_I don't want to forget you _

_Because I don't know how.  
_  
"Strider." He whispered hoarsely, feeling all the weight of his grief heavy on his shoulders. How he longed to just lie back and sleep forever, seeking solace from losses after loss. He no longer had any more desire to watch all of his friends leave one by one to a place he could not go to. How tired he felt.  
  
He heard Gimli slowly walking towards him, felt his rough hand upon his shoulder, and was grateful for having one last friend there beside him. Then he heard the Dwarf's voice, "I miss him too."  
  
"Aragorn… He told me not to grieve for him. How can I not, Gimli? He was far more than a friend to me. Out of all in the Fellowship, I knew him for the longest time. Sometimes I wish I'm mortal, my friend, for I am so tired." Legolas said shakily in gulping breaths.  
  
To that Gimli had no reply, and he could only put an arm around Legolas's shoulders. The Elf turned his head up to meet his friend's eyes, and then he pointed to a bright diamond in the sky. "Do you see that star, Gimli? This is the place where it shines the brightest in all of Mirkwood. We used to come here, Gimli. And we would wish for anything and everything. But do you know what was the thing that Aragorn wished for the most?"  
  
Gimli stared at the star, overwhelmed by it's brilliance, and he slowly shook his head, " what did Aragorn wish for?"  
  
Legolas's eyes glimmered with tears and some fell. He looked at Gimli, and the Dwarf was pierced by the sorrow in the blue depths "He wished for our friendship to last forever," Legolas said softly and sadly.  
  
_See that star in the sky, _

_Through my tears it's light I see. _

_And now even though you are gone _

_It's still shining down on me.  
  
I can still see your eyes, _

_I feel your soul everywhere, _

_I hear you voice whispering in the wind _

_But you are just not there.  
  
_With a shuddering sigh, Legolas turned back to Gimli. "I feel so tired, my friend. I don't want to say farewell again. Why does Death have to part us from those whom we love?"  
  
The Elf turned his head back up to the sky, as though he were seeking the star for an answer, of which there seemed to be none.  
  
  
  
_Can you tell me why  
  
Death made us part? _

_The loneliness surrounds _

_And now it's shattering my heart  
  
The night wind comes _

_Blowing cold and free. _

_But it can't compare _

_To that chill eating deep in me.  
_  
Legolas dropped his fair head, and he fell backwards onto the ground. There he lay on his back, tears streaming freely down his face as he sobbed silently.  
  
Gimli watched his friend sadly. He knew that watching friend after friend leave the world one by one had dealt a crushing blow to Legolas. While he himself had been hit badly by the grief, it was nothing compared to the Elf, for Gimli knew that he would reunite with them someday when he died, while Legolas could not. Right now, all he saw of Legolas was an Elf who had no drive left in life; for he had been drained of all hope. Legolas was after all very young for an immortal being. In fact, he had been too young to make friends with mortals. Suddenly Gimli felt as though he was very, very old.  
  
_See that star in the sky _

_Through my tears it's light I see. _

_And now even though you are gone _

_It's still shining down on me. _

_I can still see your eyes, _

_I feel your soul everywhere, _

_I hear your voice whispering in the wind, _

_But you are just not there.  
_  
After what seemed like an eternity, Legolas wiped his tears away and got up. "Let's go, Gimli," he said quietly.  
  
"Where to?" Gimli asked.  
  
"To the Grey Havens, Gimli, where we can finally bid farewell to loss and grief." Gimli smiled and started after his friend. As they were about to leave the glade behind, Legolas turned for one last time and looked once more upon the star. "Namarie, " he whispered.

And then he turned and left  
  
_I hear your voice whispering in the wind, _

_But you are just not there._


End file.
